I found a copy of the Twilight AU that became 50 Shades of Grey.

moonblossom:

misscarletwitch:

ryeisenberg:

ryeisenberg:

  • It’s called Master of the Universe.
  • It was originally published on Fanfiction.net (aka where fanfiction goes to die).
  • E.L. James’ pen name was Snowqueens Icedragon because of course it was.
  • Snowqueens Icedragon does not use quotation marks. 
  • She does, however, make up expressions like "my very small inner goddess sways in a gentle victorious samba" and “I can almost hear his sphinx-like smile through the phone.”
  • They spend more time filling out sex-related paperwork than they do actually having sex.
  • This is my reaction to all of the sex scenes:
  • image
  • Because the human body doesn’t work like that
  • This is my reaction to everything else:
  • image
  • Because the english language doesn’t work like that.

The 50 Shades of Grey trailer just dropped, so here’s a link to the original Twilight fanfiction that the book is “based” off of, because if you’re gonna read the book before you see the movie you might as well read it in its original format. 

this is so important

It’s been taken down from the original source link, but if anyone wants to read the trainwreck, it’s still available here

http://www30.zippyshare.com/v/17110862/file.html

drtanner:

age-of-awakening:


 What angels are apparently supposed to look like according to
They had 6 wings, covered with eyes on the wings. And had two eyes on their face, but used 2 wings to cover their face at all times because if a mortal ever saw their face they would die.
 The bible mentions multiple faces, being covered in eyeballs, constant singing, lion heads etc.
 Besides being described as beasts and monsters, they’re practically brainless drones. Heavenly angels are only one step removed from demons. The only difference is demons fell from heaven because they chose to follow Lucifer, who was an angel (angel of music and one of god’s favorites). So they are these eyeball covered animal mashed up monsters who were only created to worship for eternity (part of humanities creation was so that something would choose to love god, not just worship him because they were created to).
Angels fall into a lot of new age and conspiracy beliefs.We were taught that the supernatural realms went in the order of Heaven, Hell, then Earth. So when the angels fell from heaven with Lucifer, some fell through hell and landed on Earth. We were taught they intermarried with early humans and created giants and taught witch craft to women.
Technically, angels have made their only moral choice, and so experience morality only in theory.Some angel characters are based on the non-humanoid or vaguely humanoid “canon” angels, which can be anything from a ball of wings covered in eyes to a huge, living wheel to animals on fire.
 They’re abominations, they’re alien, they’re beyond us. They’re creatures that biology as we know it does not apply to. Often they do not love mankind, they love God and God alone.
Maybe angels taking on human form but describing just what they look like when they’re not wearing their skin.
Angels are such creepy and interesting.

The study of angelology is EVEN MORE interesting with a literal and scientific approach to understand what ancients have said regarding angelic deities. It’s a beautiful study

There is a damned good reason why the first thing out of an angel’s mouth whenever it appears to a mortal person in the Bible is “DO NOT FEAR”, and it’s because angels are fucking terrifying.

drtanner:

age-of-awakening:

 What angels are apparently supposed to look like according to

They had 6 wings, covered with eyes on the wings. And had two eyes on their face, but used 2 wings to cover their face at all times because if a mortal ever saw their face they would die.

 The bible mentions multiple faces, being covered in eyeballs, constant singing, lion heads etc.

 Besides being described as beasts and monsters, they’re practically brainless drones. Heavenly angels are only one step removed from demons. The only difference is demons fell from heaven because they chose to follow Lucifer, who was an angel (angel of music and one of god’s favorites). So they are these eyeball covered animal mashed up monsters who were only created to worship for eternity (part of humanities creation was so that something would choose to love god, not just worship him because they were created to).

Angels fall into a lot of new age and conspiracy beliefs.We were taught that the supernatural realms went in the order of Heaven, Hell, then Earth. So when the angels fell from heaven with Lucifer, some fell through hell and landed on Earth. We were taught they intermarried with early humans and created giants and taught witch craft to women.

Technically, angels have made their only moral choice, and so experience morality only in theory.
Some angel characters are based on the non-humanoid or vaguely humanoid “canon” angels, which can be anything from a ball of wings covered in eyes to a huge, living wheel to animals on fire.

 They’re abominations, they’re alien, they’re beyond us. They’re creatures that biology as we know it does not apply to. Often they do not love mankind, they love God and God alone.

Maybe angels taking on human form but describing just what they look like when they’re not wearing their skin.

Angels are such creepy and interesting.

The study of angelology is EVEN MORE interesting with a literal and scientific approach to understand what ancients have said regarding angelic deities. It’s a beautiful study

There is a damned good reason why the first thing out of an angel’s mouth whenever it appears to a mortal person in the Bible is “DO NOT FEAR”, and it’s because angels are fucking terrifying.

(Source: nospheratusblack666)

trappedinsanity:

The girls are having none of your shit.

trappedinsanity:

The girls are having none of your shit.

samspratt:

"Gina Torres" Study - Illustration by Sam Spratt

In the midst of an album cover but had a bit of time to flesh out my sketch from the other day.

lolhellno:

lolhellno:

i saw a fake skeleton for sale today for $849 and i was like wtf i could get a real skeleton for free fuck that then i remembered murder is illegal

you’re all going to jail for reblogging this

haitian-sensation:

thefuuuucomics:

Dammit, guys, this is why people think we’re insane.

Hands down one of the greatest posts I have ever reblogged on here 

(Source: animalsforpresident)

psychoshango:

you ever notice how in women’s razor commercials the models’ legs are already completely hairless before they “shave” them

like we can’t even handle showing body hair in a commercial about how to get rid of body hair

fobbishtwit:

no-glasses-eridan:

halloowada:

see

total drama gets it

That’s because it’s Canadian

We do it right.

(Source: unamusedsloth)

(Source: alterria)

lucimoosey:

asupernaturalshade-ofblue:

Supernatural boys + cats

You missed this one

image

I had a fairly standard childhood. I came from what you might call a broken home, literally broken. I was eight days old and still living with my parents. How sad is that? Clearly it was time to move on.

(Source: iamnevertheone)

ask-koki-kariya:

yougotvexed:

nico-di-angelcake:

dragons that live in volcanoes and coat themselves in lava

dragons that live underwater and have fish scales instead of dragon scales

dragons that live in fields of flowers and breathe out avalanches of flowers instead of fire

DRAGONS BEING COOL AS SHIT

image

image

image

you rang?

Dragons are cool.

(Source: nicodiangelbabe)

toroheicho:

clauhatena:

zachafalse:

the-absolute-best-gifs:

lunaticcrimsonmerc:

I am crying on the floor.

hE JUST STARTS DANCING AND THEN EVERYONES LIKE AW YEAH ITS COOL MAN


"conventions"

toroheicho:

clauhatena:

zachafalse:

the-absolute-best-gifs:

lunaticcrimsonmerc:

image

I am crying on the floor.

hE JUST STARTS DANCING AND THEN EVERYONES LIKE AW YEAH ITS COOL MAN

"conventions"

(Source: ypourgeioygeias)